Fun & Games

A mildly offensive photo from Getty Images by tempurasLightbulb.

But it made me smirk. So.

Despite there being "Activities" written twice on the schedule every day, there were never really any activities provided for the patients. The ward was just too understaffed. There was even one day that we didn't have group therapy sessions because there weren't enough therapists on duty. Therapist Hard Stare said when asked about the absence of groups that day, and I quote, "I'm not paid to do two people's jobs." They're really looking out for us, clearly.

Anyway, despite the cliche of things like art therapy in psych wards, Ward 3A had no such cliches to keep us patients entertained, save for two instances. Once, the "Clay Lady" came with her supplies to let everyone get muddy hands as a form of self-expression (I did not attend that one -- too tired). The other time was when Patient L had bugged Therapist Hard Stare sufficiently about her boredom on The Day of the Great Understaffing, Therapist Hard Stare rolled out the TV with the DVD player and popped in "Legally Blonde". I didn't attend that paltry offer of entertainment either. Something about Reese Witherspoon doesn't jive with my damaged psyche.

For the most part, we were all left to entertain ourselves during the long gaps between group therapy sessions and meals, which are the defining events of the day. (The meetings with one's doctor are so unpredictable in terms of scheduling that they cannot be relied upon for a sense of structure for the day.) A lot of patients just stay in their rooms, but the staff tends to bother you if you don't come out enough. "Socialize with the other patients!" they urge while I'm just trying to read a book in the pseudo-comfort of my hospital bed.

There's always patients on the unit, though. By "unit" I mean the common area that surrounds the nurses' station, serving not only as common area but also as pacing track for the restless. Patient Ja, Patient G, and Patient F can usually be found doing laps around the nurses' station, ambling slowly along as if they might actually get somewhere if they just walk long enough.

There are awkward chairs to sit in, though, and a messy selection of games, which are typically missing vital pieces. (Eg. Yahtzee without the dice, etc.) There are also lots of puzzles which may or may not have all the pieces. Puzzles are nice and safe, but also infuriating for those of us with little patience.

Occasionally I would join games with Patients L, Ne, and S. There was Scrabble, of which Patient D was the champion, and Scrabble Slam, which I'd never played before but found quite entertaining. Look it up if you don't know it. Particularly for people who find regular Scrabble too slow-paced, Scrabble Slam is a good alternative. Games of regular Scrabble were usually abandoned fairly quickly, as the rules were for the most part made up as we went along, as it took some time to come to a consensus about how the game was actually played.

There was also Uno and standard card decks. A lot of the time I found myself practicing shuffling more than actually playing anything. Isn't that an image? Practicing shuffling over and over but never dealing. There was even a half-decent chess board with all necessary pieces, if a little mismatched. I played with my dad during visiting hours one day. ...I suck at chess.

The most ridiculous of any of these was Pictionary. There were no pieces, no cards, not even a box. Just the board. Despite these shortcomings, Patient L was thrilled by its presence. Apparently she and her parents used to play Pictionary all the time, so she had a strong emotional bond with the game, and could not be dissuaded from wanting to play it, despite the missing pieces. So we improvised.

We selected random pieces from the bottom of the games cabinet to be our board pieces. I believe there were two chess pieces, a Battleship torpedo, and a Checkers piece. I made dice out of construction paper and tape. (The tape had to be requested from the nurses, and I had to assure them that I wouldn't try to eat the tape. I really don't understand how that was a concern.) We tore up more construction paper to be our cards. Patient L knew the game so well that she was able to identify all the card categories and even produce some examples from each. We made about two dozen of these cards, selecting ideas at random. Dinosaur. France. Horse saddle. Christmas ornament. Once my brain started to give up on this random generation of things, I found a Better Homes & Gardens magazine and flipped through that for ideas. That was how I got "horse saddle" and "Christmas ornament."

Unfortunately, once we'd finished all the materials for the game, we were so tired that we'd lost interest in playing. But that's life. It was only to pass the time anyway.

Blank board from here, and Scrabble tiles from here.

Put together by me.

"LUNATIC" is actually a good play...