Friday, July 1, 2011

Cast of Characters, Part 2: The Perv

From Getty Images, by Tristan Paviot.

Perhaps my favorite patient of the whole motley crew was a young Hispanic male who was present in the ward before my admittance and remained past my discharge (i.e. he had issues that kept him there past the average five days). We'll call him Patient X.

He spoke only Spanish. It's hard enough trying to communicate with psychiatric patients in the same language; add a language barrier on top of that and it's next to impossible to convey even the simplest idea. The staff really struggled to treat him. There was occasionally an interpreter for Patient X, but not always. With or without an interpreter, he had to be watched by a staff member at all times.

Why, you ask? Well. Patient X was a pervert.

He would come into female patients' rooms while they were changing and give inappropriate hugs. Physical contact between patients isn't allowed anyway; a lingering hug with a hand drifting toward a boob is definitely not allowed. Thankfully, outrage is an emotion easily conveyed across all languages. Patient L frequently threatened violence, and he seemed to get that.

Patient X was strange in other ways. The staff always referred to him as "confused." I'm not sure why he was in the ward (The Big Three, schizophrenia, bipolar, whatever). Even when he had an interpreter translate for him during groups, his comments weren't entirely coherent. Something about "healing his wounds". Nice and poetic, but doesn't actually say much.

When he wasn't watched, he'd move mattresses from room to room, rearrange the furniture in the TV room, or just crawl on/under the furniture. During an evening wrap-up group, without warning, he did an army-crawl under the coffee table and had to be escorted from the room. Another time, during a morning community meeting, Patient X climbed on top of a chair, peeled an inspection sticker off a ceiling tile, and ate the sticker. Things like that. Therapist Hard Stare yelled at him, "[Patient X name], down!" -- like he was a dog. It's easier to get through to a dog than it was to get through to Patient X. I suppose when you're particularly frustrated with the failures of communication it's easy to devolve into such base methods. Down, boy!

He also made a complex tower of Jenga blocks in one corner of the unit. For someone who crawls all over the furniture, I was impressed by the detail and care that must have been put into the two-foot-tall skyscraper, complete with window arrangements and a lightning rod. The staff summoned the interpreter to ask Patient X about the tower (for it was truly unusual behavior for Patient X), but they couldn't get a coherent answer from him, Spanish or not.

While this "confused" behavior was entertaining (and frustrating), it wasn't nearly as interesting and funny as his more licentious behavior. I saw him drop his pants in the TV room in front of at least other three people, and when I told Therapist Verdigris about it, she just sighed and said, "Again?"

He also dropped trou and whipped out his dick at Patient Y.

While I was not a direct witness to that event, the heightened level of scrutiny over Patient X supports the validity of the story.

Strangely enough, Patient Y didn't seem particularly bothered by the flashing incident, despite being upset by things like Patient L's goth wardrobe. Alternatively, Patient L flipped out every time Patient X tried to touch her or come in her room. Guess you can't predict how people will respond to... "confused" behavior.

At least he wasn't dull.

From Getty Images, by Ghislain & Marie David de Lossy.
"Confused," indeed.

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